I know nothing with any certainty;

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 12:26:53 GMT

Operation update more starts from today. I can never remember what I've done, so I figure this is a good way to keep track of it!

The past few weeks have been incredible. My flat is pretty much completely decorated now. My flatmate pretty much did nothing to change it, so I figured this gave me complete control, and now everything just looks so cute ^_^. And the location is so perfect. I'm like a 5 minute walk into Camden, and the pub across the road has lots of rock bands on every night and cheap drinks. Fun times.

The workload for university has increased A LOT. I knew it was going to get harder, but it's insane. At least it's keeping me busy though.

At the same time as living in books, I've been doing so many amazing photoshoots.

On Saturday I shot with Mark Fiddian. We got through so many ideas in the space of 6 hours, and managed to get the exact shot we wanted almost instantly! It was great fun.

Yesterday I worked with Phil Bourne. We've been trying to arrange the shoot for ages now, but the weather kept failing us :( Thankfully it didn't rain, but it was so unbelievably cold. I completely lost feeling in all my fingers and toes, which was an odd experience. Hopefully it was worth it though!

Today I was supposed to work with someone and shoot my lovely new Jane Doe latex dress <33 I was so excited. Then when I emailed him to get his contact number and studio address, I heard nothing back. I then emailed him again this morning, and nothing. How annoying ¬_¬. Hopefully I'll get to shoot in it soon though; I love it so much.

I've got two more shoots this week; a paid one tomorrow and one Thursday. Then Thursday night Rob comes :D My flatmate has gone home for the weekend, so we get the flat all to ourselves for a bit <3.

After never having used a hob before in my life, the other day I decided to make food. I made spaghetti bolognese, and it was actually edible! So when Rob comes, he's going to show me more meals I can make and stuff, which should be fun ^_^. We're also going to see the firework display at Westminster, which I imagine will be beautiful. I've missed just wandering around London, so hopefully we'll be going out a lot.

At the same time, I have 5 essays to write. Bah :(

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 22:09:10 GMT

I really need to update this more :|

My summer has been pretty boring due to lack of job/money. The two are pretty much linked, really :p Once I'm back in London I plan to update a lot more, mostly because I can't really remember a lot of last year, and I'd really like to document things I do in a more organised way! I'm a little crazy when it comes to organisation :p

I went to Reading festival for the first time, which was... an experience :|. On the first night, the first band we went to see was Alexisonfire. This alone has left me SO annoyed. All the bands I wanted to see were pretty much on the Friday, and I ended up missing them all because my friend wanted to sit in the tent and drink ¬_¬ Anyone that knows me will know I love a bit of cheeky wine, but when I've paid £200 to see bands I really like, I want to actually see them :(. I was super looking forward to Alexisonfire though, I love them so much.

I was in the Alexisonfire tent for like under 10 seconds, and everything was just stripped from me, including my shoes :| I got super panicky, so I went outside to calm down, where someone full on walked into me, and I had the biggest panic attack I've ever had. Then people were just like 'ignore her, she's probably just on bad drugs' :| :|. This angered me SO much, as my boyfriend learnt as he was on the phone to me at the time trying to calm me down. I then lost my friend, who apparently lost everything in her bag, so I spent the night crying with security thinking she was in a ditch somewhere or something. I ended up finally getting through to someone on her phone, but it was some random boy who had found her phone in the Alexisonfire tent, so I had no way at all to contact her. After sitting for a few hours, I figured I'd go watch some of Kaiser Chiefs and Kings of Leon, because so far I hadn't seen ANY bands. I ended up leaving Kings of Leon less than half way through because I felt really bad that I had no idea where Nicole was. When I got back to my tent, it turns out she'd just gone to sleep ¬_¬. After calling her a twat many a time, I eventually went to sleep.

Saturday was better, but I only saw 2 bands I liked :|. I love seeing Enter Shikari live, but the sound was SO bad that all you could hear was bass and synth; you could hear absolutely none of the vocals. I was super disappointed :( The sound on the main stage was abysmal all weekend, which is really odd since it's such a big festival. Atreyu, however, were absolutely AMAZING. I was right at the front, close enough to touch Alex Varkatzas' sexy arms <3. I've completely fallen in love with the band now. I've always liked them, but seeing them live has just made me obsess a little. They were so good. After watching lots of bands I didn't like, and having to see more after Atreyu, I ended up just crashing out super early :| Fun times.

On Sunday, I again missed most of the bands I wanted to see. Oh joys :p I saw one band I liked, which was AFI :) Then after listening to more music I didn't like. My friend met a boy, and decided to stay with him all night in his tent, so I spent my final night sitting alone with lots of weird people who felt the need to have the most serious conversations I've ever heard about religion, the origins of the universe etc, and at one point said 'Hitler was a genius though' :|. Oh dear. It was so bad.

All in all, I don't think I'd go again. Or at least not with just Nicole. I plan to go to Leeds next year to see if there is such a huge north/south divide, because people were seriously rude at Reading. From what I've heard Leeds is a lot more crazy and more fun, so I've got that to look forward to! I'm making Rob go, because I don't think I can stand spending so much time alone at a festival again. Plus, that way I can actually see bands I like, so yay.

Anyway! Enough Reading whinge :p. I'm so in love with my new tattoo! I spent the first week just sitting staring at it all time. It's really odd though, usually I heal a few days after, but this has taken two weeks now. I'm not a fan.

I am, however, a fan of Sunderland Airshow. I've been going every year since I was little.

This year, me and Rob went with my parents and all of their friends and siblings! They're so much fun. I got to meet one of Coady's daughters, who was so nice! I met her sister a few weeks earlier, but nobody told me they were identical twins. When he introduced me, it boggled my mind :p Then someone mentioned they were twins and it all made sense haha.

Hi drunk. I lost my RayBans a few weeks ago. I'm still heartbroken :(. I loved those sunglasses.

I've had a few shoots again, which has been really fun! Hopefully I'll pick it up again when I go back to London. I've got a flat in Camden, which I'm so happy about. I move in next weekend; words can't express how excited I am!

A shot from my jewellery shoot with Images of You:

So, this is my last weekend in the toon until Christmas! Tomorrow I'm going to my dad's gig, which is always fun. Then on Saturday I'm out in Newcastle with one of my friends. I haven't seen her since college, so it should be good! I've never been to Krash before, but I can only assume it's better than Legends :p heh.

Everything at home has randomly gotten a lot better, so I'm actually going to be quite sad to leave! I still haven't figured out how I'm going to deal with being away from Rob so much again. I miss him after a few hours :| How worrying. It's so weird looking back, considering after we broke up in December I pretty much never wanted to see the boy again :p. He means far too much to me..

I missed the blonde bit at the front of my hair far too much, so I bleached it. I now have orange hair. Fun times :p Hopefully it'll be fixed when I try again tomorrow! I haven't done as much as I did last time, which I now regret, but I'm just hoping it'll turn out ok.

I can't believe I didn't get the chance to work with them this summer; they're probably my favourite photographers. Hopefully I'll be able to work with them next time I'm back in Newcastle!

Sorry for the ridiculously long entry! I'm far too bored. Damn flu just won't go away :(

Thu, 13 Aug 2009 09:04:56 GMT

So, it's been a while since I last updated.

Quiet a lot has happened, including my birthday at Alton Towers, which was full of lols. I briefly had a job in a bar, but after 2 shifts they cancelled the club night I was hired for, so now I am once again unemployed.

I've also been having quite a bit of trouble with my depression lately. It got to the point where I have panic attacks when I leave the house again, which is never fun, so for the past two weeks, I've been trying to get myself back to normal.

I realised the other day that I have no confidence left, which is never fun. For some reason, doing shoots always made me feel more confident. It's nothing to do with the pictures, it's more that it forces me to act confident, and meet new people, so I usually always come out stronger. Apart from last time, which just completely killed any confidence I had left. That was a few months ago now, and I haven't done any shoots since, despite really enjoying doing them. So, today I've arranged a shoot with a photographer I've shot with many times, in the hope that maybe I can fix this part of me. I'm so ridiculously nervous, it's not fun at all :(

The shoot is actually for my jewellery. I've set up an Etsy account and such now. I'm spending most of my days at the minute making clay jewellery, so I figured I should probably start selling it :p I love making it, but I don't really wear much of it, so an Etsy shop seemed like a logical answer.

Then on Saturday, I get a new tattoo <3. I'm getting an anchor on my leg, with script saying 'in all this chaos we found safety'. I think it completely sums up my first year of university. It's so odd being back in Newcastle, it's like since I've left, I left my part in the family behind. Nobody in my house really talks to me, and my mam has successfully managed to shout at me for something every day since I've been home. The other day she banned Rob from staying and had a huge go at me all because a door was shut at 4am, when it wasn't even me :| Eurgh. I can't wait to just go back to London and get away from here. I hate what Newcastle does to me.

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 11:33:46 GMT

Download was amazing :) The Prodigy actually blew me away with their set. As did Opeth and Dragonforce, and I've never really liked them before.

Summer seems to be going well, although I'm pretty much living at Robs haha. I think I'm just used to having someone to talk to all the time since halls, and I haven't adjusted to just sitting alone yet.

Nicole is coming to visit next week, I really miss the girl. Anyone that high fives a girl in the back of the head for trying to rape my boyfriend is obviously the best friend I'll ever have haha.

I'm going to Reading with her and her friends in August :) I can't wait. There's so many bands I want to see <33. Love a bit of Rise Against: http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.channel&friendID=2664464&n=2664464 (Everyone loves a bit of shameless street-teaming).

I'm so excited :D

Sat, 23 May 2009 22:23:30 GMT

The post exam weeks have been amazing.

I know I've failed one exam, so I'm dreading results. I guess I can resit it if I'm right, but meh.

Tonight I went to see Mamma Mia. Nothing says fun like watching your grandparents dance to Abba :) It was amazing.

Tomorrow I leave Nutford House foreverrrr and return to cold, cold Newcastle for the summer. It's going to be so bizarre. I really need to start using this thing more. I'm making a scrap book for my first year of uni, and I'm struggling to remember what's happened :|

Tomorrow is going to be a very sad day :(

Sun, 22 Mar 2009 19:02:43 GMT

So, I've decided to keep posting the pictures publicly, I'll just start posting more personal entries as friends only. I doubt many people really read this anyway :p but I overthink everything, I can't help it.

Yesterday I did university work all day. I'm so proud of me. I've got exams in 6 weeks, I'm so nervous it's unreal. I guess I can only try my best and hope it all goes well. I'll find out in July :|

I had a shoot today with Wamchi, which was fun ^_^. The pictures looked so good, I can't wait to get the finished results.

I think I saw Viktoria when I was at the bus stop after the shoot. She was so beautiful. It's sad that people like that just turn me back into a stuttering 12 year old girl with no confidence :| But she's just such an amazing model.

I ended up getting the bus to Camden and getting a new ear piercing (my helix). I want to get the lobes done twice more on each side, and my tragus done on the opposite side to the helix, then I'll be happy. I'm going to space it out lots though, so I don't wake up in the middle of the night in agony after leaning on one side :p. Getting it done today actually didn't hurt at all; if anything, it hurt more when she put the bar in. I've missed getting pierced <3.

I think I'm going to get my next tattoo at some point next month if I can afford it. I want a blue bow on each wrist. I've been thinking of it for a while, and I drew it on myself a few weeks ago when I was bored and painting jewellery, and I actually fell in love, so now, naturally, I have no choice :p

And now to get back to learning about equity and trusts ¬_¬ Oh joy. I'll just put this song on repeat and it'll keep me happy. I think I've become a little obsessed :p It just makes me smile so much!

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 22:38:18 GMT

Today I was walking to meet a photographer, when a big funeral procession past by me as I was walking past the Marble Arch. I was really intrigued to see who it was, as there were so many cars and most of them were full of soldiers.

I was just watching the news, and it was one of the soldiers shot by the Real IRA :( I actually cried. It's just so sad.

The shoot was for my jewellery, so I can set up an online shop :) I learnt that my hayfever has come back, heh. We were sitting under a cherry blossom, and my eyes were streaming. So there's lots of pretty pictures of the jewellery, and none of me :p Hopefully I can go back and do some shots under the cherry blossom though, they're such beautiful trees.

I love days where I just wander around London. It's so pretty. I'm going to miss it when I go back to Newcastle :( I think I have to spend summer in Newcastle too, meh.

I've had a lot of shoots lately, I might post pictures later, but Jonathan Ross is currently stealing my attention :p

Someone mentioned on one of my posts that I should post the nude shots in friends only posts. Is this worthwhile doing? I never really thought of it as a problem before, hm.

I've forgotten how much I love making jewellery ^_^

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 18:00:17 GMT

The past week has been so hectic; I've had sooo much work to do.

Andy came to visit last Friday, and he took me out for a meal and a drink, which was nice. We ended up going back to mine and drinking champagne; oh, the life of a student is so difficult :p Then came home on Saturday to surprise my family, as they thought I'd be back a day later. I ended up going to my dad's gig on Saturday night, which was a nice welcome home haha.

On Monday I had a shoot with Images of You. I really do enjoy modelling so much, and I'm glad that I've finally decided to take my work in the direction that I've always wanted. I was talking about it with Wicked Heart today, and they pointed out that I've said I've wanted to do nudes/fetish work since I first met them, so at least I've definitely thought about it, and the repercussions, in depth.

I still can't decide if I like this one, hm.

Then on Tuesday I went out with Jenny. It was nice to see her again ^_^. We had many a drink in Revolution <3 Oh, I love that place. The bubblegum vodka is soooo nice. I forgot, however, that I was no longer in London, so everywhere closed at like 11.30 ¬_¬ How annoying. I've gotten used to be able to go out any night of the week haha.

On Wednesday I met up with Toni and we went to Pizza Hut. I don't think I've ever ate so much in my life. I've missed the girl though, hopefully I can see her more next time.

Since Wednesday, I've pretty much being doing non-stop work ¬_¬ Eurgh. I finished one essay, but I still have three more to go. Oh dear.

I had a shoot with Wicked Heart today. I'm really looking forward to seeing the pictures, I think it went really well ^_^.

I go back to London tomorrow. I think I'll be very sad to leave my family and things; I really miss them when I'm gone. I'm really looking forward to being back though. I've just gotten so used to my life there.

Anyway, back to my work :(

Fri, 30 Jan 2009 01:49:47 GMT

I'm quite touched by how many people replied to my last entry; it's good to know that people care :)

I just watched American History X.

I've never had to turn away from the screen when watching something before, but some parts of that were just too hard to watch; it seemed so real.

I don't think a movie has ever made me cry so much in my life.

I honestly can't understand how people can still have such hatred; such racist views. I don't think it's going to be something I'll ever tolerate, no matter how slight.

Anyway! On a more light hearted note, I have new pictures :)

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 15:55:35 GMT

I just went for my 4th session of laser hair removal, and for the first time in my life I think I reached my ultimate pain barrier :| I've always been able to cope with high levels of pain, but today I had to actually tell her to stop after she'd barely even started because I just couldn't handle it.

I've also had a bruise for at least a week now, and I normally heal really fast.

Anddd, I got no sleep last night because I had agonising pain in my side. I had to keep refilling my hot water bottle to try and sooth it a little, bah.

I don't approve of this :(

On the plus side, I also got my bat tattoos removed for the last time, and I'm going to see Valerie Vargas tomorrow about getting my cover up in July, which I'm super excited about.

Now to clean my room and to do some work, so I don't feel too guilty about going out tonight. I've done so much work lately, I think I deserve a good night out!

Sun, 18 Jan 2009 22:40:04 GMT

The past few days have been so much fun :)

Sat, 17 Jan 2009 19:41:44 GMT

"In all this chaos, we found safety"

Yesterday was actually the best day of my life. I am so glad I met Nicole :) She has made my life amazing; I don't think I could ask for a better friend.

I had a shoot today, and it made me realise how much I've missed it. I'm now fully booked until March, so I guess it's good that I enjoy it so much :p

Mon, 29 Dec 2008 01:40:29 GMT

Tonight I went to see an amazing local band with my parents & had such a good night.

I came home & started talking to an old best friend; I've missed him so much so it was so nice to know things between us haven't changed, despite not talking for a year.

Tomorrow two of my three favourite people are coming up to Newcastle. Words can't describe how excited I am.

I'm so ridiculously happy with life right now.

:)

Fri, 26 Dec 2008 13:55:04 GMT

I posted the last entry last night when I was very drunk & very over emotional. Usually I'd delete it, but I think I just needed to get it all out.

Things are a lot better today, and I'm lot more sorted within myself about everything, which is good. & I know it's only going to keep getting better.

Despite the drama, Christmas was really fun. We sat drinking champagne for most of the day, then we started making cocktails using my dads new cocktail book. Nothing beats finishing a bottle of tequila with your family haha. We had such a lovely continental breakfast with different cheeses & meats, but we ate so much that when it came to dinner time, we were still full. This means there's still a full turkey in my kitchen as we never had Christmas dinner lmao. I love how dysfunctional my family are, yet it seems to work.

I've got a busy few days ahead of me, I have no idea how I'm going to fit in time to revise haha.

Today I'm going to my nanas to see all of my family & drink (more) champagne. I've become so addicted. Then I'm going to stay at Robs, drink wine, play monopoly, watch movies & eat star shaped eggs :p Tomorrow we're going to my aunties in Yarm to meet her new boyfriend & go out for a Thai meal, which should be nice. I've never had Thai food before.

On Monday I'm going to get a hair cut & things, then David & Nicole get here :D :D :D I've missed them so much. We're going to have lots of champagne & cocktails, then go to my dads gig which should be fun ^_^. I'm not too sure what's happening afterwards yet. We might go to Digital in town so I can show them a night out in the 'toon' haha, or we might go to a bar with my parents & their friends, orrr we might come back to mine because my mam is thinking about having a party. Whatever we end up doing, I'm sure it'll be good. It'll just be so nice to see them again.

Nicole leaves on Tuesday :( So I need to try and think of something to occupy David during the day, then we're going to the cinema & maybe meeting my family for a meal. We figure we need to relax the day before New Years eve so we will be as awake as possible for it.

Then on Wednesday me & David get the train back to London, meet up with Nicole & Jajames, drink the Moet I got for Christmas then go to The Roxy, a club in London, for New Years. Last year I watched the fireworks at the London Eye on New Years & I said "I'm going to be there next year!" & I will be :) I'm so excited.

I'm less excited for the 2 weeks after that, as I have exams on the 12th & 13th of January. Bah. Hopefully it'll be alright though.

I got loads of nice things for Christmas. I just ordered lots of things with the money I got too. I've missed having money :p

A dress & belt from Vivien of Holloway

A lovely dress from Oasis <33. It's a shame the picture is so small :(

A really cute purse from Dolly Dagger.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas! :)

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 15:56:37 GMT

I get yellow/orange added to the tattoo in January :)

Better, less drunk, pictures to come.

Fri, 31 Oct 2008 18:52:56 GMT

What I'm wearing tonight...

This girl is actually amazing. We had the same bed sheets & slippers before we even met, & we've learnt if we don't discuss our outfits, we will end up meeting up later in the night wearing the same outfit ¬_¬ Haha, so tragic.

There was just far too much purple that night.

Doing the "get your hand off my bum" face just before leaving for the Law Freshers Cruise

Going past Houses of Parliament on the cruise

You know you're good when you pull a gay.

These boys are awesome :)

<3.

Because I'm his ho.

Ahh, I don't even remember this being taken hahahaha. We knocked on David at 3am & convinced him it was half 8 and time for breakfast. We're good people.

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 12:12:22 GMT

"Heaven's not a place that you go when you die
It's that moment in life when you actually feel alive"

These have been the best few weeks of my life :)

Mon, 22 Sep 2008 15:26:09 GMT

Well, things got a hell of a lot better!

I spent the day mostly in my room being all upset, then I finally sorted myself out so I went shopping to cheer myself up :p Then my mam rang at 7pm & I got super upset again. But yea, at 7 their was also a meeting planned in the common room so everyone can get to know each other, so with tears still in my eyes, I went downstairs & just talked to anyone & everyone. I met some really nice people. I ended up getting quite drunk, going to Camden, coming back & sitting downstairs in my pjs haha. Fun times.

I had people to go to breakfast with too :) Which was nice. Breakfast, however, wasn't :p I doubt I'll be eating in the halls much, it's horrid. It's a good job I'm not a big eater.

But yea, today I went to enrol with David (a guy in my halls who is also doing Law) & we met a girl called Becca who is super nice & likes Sick of it All. Woo. I got an adorable box for my makeup, but I want more because it's so pretty. I'm going out soon for a law pub crawl. It's fancy dress & I have to dress as a school girl. I didn't really prepare for this, so I think I'll stick with a black top & a tartan skirt. I'll just borrow a tie or something :p

But yea, last night & today have actually been loads of fun. I can definitely see myself being happy here. Damn those crappy people I sat with yesterday making me doubt that.

Anyway, I have lots of work to do, this shouldn't excite me as much as it does :p but yes, I have to finish this so I can start getting ready to go out. Woo.

Sun, 21 Sep 2008 10:50:24 GMT

It's official, I'm in the worst halls ever.

I went down for brunch & sat with people & tried talking to them, & they all ignored me & just continued their conversation. I was sitting at the same table & nobody even tried to talk to me once!

That was so horrible.

I don't know what I'm going to do for the rest of the meals :( I don't just want to sit alone.

Sun, 21 Sep 2008 08:19:03 GMT

So, I moved into my halls yesterday.

It was a very teary goodbye, but mostly (well, only) on my dads part. Bless him.

I left my door open when I was unpacking, hoping someone would walk past so I could talk to people. But nobody did :| Then I sat down & started feeling super lonely (although, strangely not homesick), so I decided I'd just go to the union early. On my way out I bumped into someone, so I asked her for directions & stuff to the nearest shops. I really should've just talked to her ¬_¬ But yea, & ended up getting lost after walking for a few minutes hahaha. Thankfully I saw a man with a map & decided to ask for directions. Once I figured out where I was, I headed to the closest shop to buy a map, which has proved super useful. I also figured out where the closest Sainsburys is & all that jazz.

On my way to the tube station, I realised that every time I get the tube I get to walk past this:

It's so pretty.

Once I got to the tube station, I stood in a queue to get my Oyster card topped up. The girl in front of me was going through loads of leaflets about student cards. Since I looked everything up before I came, I thought I'd help her. Turns out she's in Nutford House too, which works out well ^_^. She's in a different building though, so I'm not sure if I'll see her at meals & stuff. Which reminds me, I have 'brunch' in two hours, but I have no idea where the room for it is :| Hopefully I'll at least see someone before then.

But yes, I got the tube to the union because I didn't want to try walking there as I'm sure it'd result in fail. When I got there, I bought a ticket to the Icebreaker thing at Koko in Camden for tonight, then I decided to just randomly talk to people that looked interesting. Apparently my idea of interesting is second year camp students, go me. They were super friendly & gave me a tour & everything. Then told me to join the Irish society because all they do is drink, I said I'm not Irish, & they said it didn't matter haha. Then I randomly talked to two girls, Danielle & Emma. There were two tables that were super full, so we decided to sit next to two people instead. Turns out they were foreign students that already knew each other, so that was a bit awkward. We decided to leave because it was pretty much empty apart from the two tables, so we went to Danielle's halls to the bar there, but that was closed, so we missioned to Emma's instead. She made me soup which was nice of her, then people came in & said there was a party outside & handed me free drink haha. So we went outside for quite a bit & I decided I'm in the worst halls ever ¬_¬ The other one was soo fun, & everyone was really friendly. Here there's nobody sitting around or anything >_< It makes it very awkward. But yea, after that we went back to the union but the queue was sooo huge it wasn't even worth it. We went to a pub instead, but they all went & sat upstairs & nobody seemed to want to go to the bar, so I figured I'd just go home. it was already 10pm & I didn't want to go home alone too late on my first night, just in case I got lost or anything. Apparently even the shops on Edgware Road are open at 10, which is good. It means it's really busy & everything is lit up, so yay. I came in expecting to see people in the common room, but no, nobody here likes to leave their room :p So I just moaned to Rob about things then fell asleep.

I think I'll take pictures of my room & stuff today to show my nana, which means I'll have to finish sorting everything out. I'm going to try and find some things I'll need, like a make-up box & wine glasses. I also want to get cup a soups & hot chocolate as I'm allowed a kettle in my room. Hopefully I'll meet someone at brunch that I can go with. Then tonight I think the halls have a drinking session planned, which I think I'll go to in the hope that I'll actually meet people here, then I'm going to Koko. I've checked night buses & stuff so hopefully it'll be ok.

Everyone I've met so far seems so... responsible. In a 'we have to recycle & not get drunk' kind of way. It's not what I was expecting :p I think I'm far too ditzy for this. Damn my liking fun.

I'm hoping it'll get better though. I've gone too long without friends now to spend my time at uni alone too.

I'm starting to miss Rob a hell of a lot as well. It took me an hour after saying bye to suppress the urge to cry which wasn't fun. Only 3 more weeks 'til I see him, I guess.

Someone's already sang the Byker Grove theme song to me :(

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 09:20:15 GMT

So, I figured I should probably update this. I can’t really remember everything that’s happened since my last proper post, or what order they happened in, so I have no idea how this will work :p

Me & Rob were supposed to go to Paris at the start of September, but my aunty sprung it on us that we would have to pay for everything, and as we’re both poor, we ended up having to cancel :( Ahh well, hopefully I’ll get to go next year!

Instead, we decided we’d go out the weekend before to celebrate his birthday. We were going to go to Kubla Khan’s, but decided to go somewhere cheaper so we’d have more money for drink haha. So we missioned to Pizza Hut, classy stuff. First we ordered the pizza, and the guy had to actually go check if they had the base we wanted :| Then I asked for rose, and he said they didn’t have any left. It was all a little disaster-y from the start. Then, our pizza arrived before our starters, so I complained and the guy said he’d bring the starters over. We’d pretty much finished the pizza, and the starters still hadn’t arrived, so I ended up cancelling them. To make up for it, the guy gave us a free salad bowl, which had a fly in it ¬__¬. Then we heard other people ordering and he told them there were no more mushrooms?! They’re on basically every pizza! It’s not like we went when it was super busy, and it was a Saturday night so you’d think they’d be a bit better. After the fail pizza, we went to a pub down the street, mostly because I needed a wee. Then at the door some guy compared me to Amy Winehouse. I screamed a little in his face & ran off. Thankfully, the night got better :p Rob was wearing trainers, so we couldn't go to places like Revolution, so I think we just stayed in Legends. Oh! We did venture to the Academy, we had to pay to get in, then a double Jack Daniels & coke was £7?! I thought it was supposed to be all student-y and cheap. We ended up leaving after one drink, heh.

Last weekend I was supposed to be going out with Jenny on Friday, then Bex on Saturday and going to a photography exhibition on Sunday. Well, Jenny decided to go out somewhere else, Bex just never contacted me, and Rob couldn’t go with me to the exhibition. Fantastic ¬_¬. In the end, I just dragged Rob round to mine to keep me company and we went to my dad’s gig. I got far too drunk on Jack Daniels that tasted oddly cheaper than it should, and ended up dancing. A lot. Like a fool. I got my nana, grandad, Rob, brother and his friend all up dancing though haha. Accomplishment right there. I then proceeded to go crazy and shouted and cried at my mam because of her lack of emotion. The other day she actually said in all seriousness that she couldn’t wait until I left, which really got to me. And apparently drunk me does not forget these things, heh. Besides that, the night was good. Embarrassing, but good :p.

I think I’m pretty much busy every day this week. Today I’m going to start packing, then venture to Toni’s house so I can finally see her before I go <3. Then tomorrow I’m going shopping with my nana to buy the last few things, then Rob is coming round until Thursday. Hopefully on Wednesday I’ll be going into town to the court as I have to talk about a court visit to my tutor at uni, and it’s been a while since I’ve been. Then Thursday will be full of hugs and clinginess as I say bye to Rob, heh. Andd then on Friday I go to London :D. I move into my halls (which are right next to Hyde Park & the Marble Arch <33) on Saturday, then hopefully I’ll be going out Saturday night to the bars on Gordon street, & to Koko in Camden on Sunday. I’m far too excited ^_^.

I’ve started contacting photographers in London too, so hopefully I’ll have a few shoots lined up there soon.

Andd, that’s pretty much all I can remember. My memory really is getting dreadful.

Oh, I’ve also changed my hair:

How boring :( I miss the red already.

Thu, 11 Sep 2008 00:03:53 GMT

I'm selling lots of clothes on ebay.

http://shop.ebay.co.uk/merchant/maxineashleigh

I really should update more.

In summary, every thing is pretty much perfect at the minute :) I'm spending most of the next week with the boy, then I leave for London next Friday ♥ ♥ ♥

Fri, 15 Aug 2008 23:08:22 GMT

I still can't believe I got 3 A's. I got 395/400 for my 2 years of law O_O I'm so proud of me, haha.

I think it's just sunk in that I'm going to be leaving the boy here, that's going to be super difficult. I seem to have really fallen for him, it's going to be so weird not having him around all the time. I keep thinking it would be better to break up before I go; it's selfish to make him stay with me when he can barely afford the metro never mind monthly trips to London. But in all honesty, I think I love him too much to purposely end things. I think I'm just going to have to see how it goes once I'm there. I'm sure we'll make it work somehow, I can't imagine my life without him anymore.

I ended up crying lots yesterday for a mixture of reasons. I think I just still can't actually believe I've done it. Everything I've ever done was for this, & words can't even begin to describe how amazing it feels to know that I've finally achieved it. I'm going to be studying Law at one of the best universities in the country because of my motivation & ambition; I never imagined this would happen <333. I've never felt so overwhelmed with emotion in my life.

When I went to get my results, a girl from school give me such a horrible look & I think that got to me a bit too much. After talking to Rob though, I realised that my mind was all mixed up. I have nothing to prove to anyone, I know myself that I'm capable of achieving something this great, I really don't think I care what they think of me any more. They can look down on me all they want, I'll still hold my head up high no matter what, because I have a new found confidence in myself, & nobody is going to bring that down.

Bring on September :)

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 05:58:26 GMT

I'M GOING TO UCL! :D :D :D :D

Ah, happiest moment of my life!

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 19:50:58 GMT

I love them so much! The pictures don’t do them justice at all as I’d just had them done so my skin was all rawr, & it’s ridiculously hard to take pictures of the back of your own thighs :p. Hopefully I’ll have better pictures soon.

I’ve had a weird few days. I think I’m getting far too stressed about my results. I’m starting to cope a lot better though. I’m so lucky to have such an amazing boyfriend & best friend; I have no idea how they put up with me. I’m feeling a hell of a lot better though.

I ended up messaging an old friend from school when I was going all crazy. I apologised for everything; I do really regret how things ended. I didn’t expect her to reply, but she did, & now I think we may be going out for a drink next week which is really bizarre to think about, especially as I haven’t spoken to her in over 2 years, despite seeing her most days. I’m glad that we can put the past, well, in the past. I think I’ve grown up a lot in the past few years & I just want to put everything that happened in school behind me. It did make me a hell of a lot stronger, but I just want to move on from it all.

I've started designing the next tattoos I want already. I really need money >_<

I think I’m going to go get my ears done twice more on each side tomorrow, then I'm getting my bat tattoos lasered on Thursday. Oh, this shall be a week of pain haha.